“Are We Dating the Same Guy” App Review

How Posting And Anonymous Commenting Work

A typical AWDTSG post starts with a screenshot from a dating profile and a caption such as "any tea?" or "anyone else dating him?" Other members reply with what they know, positive or negative. The app's official tutorial describes the network as a place to "warn other women about liars, cheaters, abusers, or anyone who exhibits any type of toxic or dangerous behavior," and to "check to see if anyone has posted any warnings about someone" before dating them. Posting and commenting can both be done anonymously, and the app assigns a new anonymous name to each commenter on every post, according to the app's store listing. The same listing states the app blocks screenshots and screen recordings and logs anyone who tries. Some AppBrain reviewers say posts still reached the men involved through admins or moderators, so screenshot blocking cannot guarantee that a post stays inside the group.

Vetting and Moderation Model

Access is not open. The tutorial says new members must show "enough details" on their profile to prove they are a real person before a request is approved, and membership in one of the underlying Facebook groups is required first (AWDTSG tutorial). Group and app rules prohibit sharing addresses or other identifying details, appearance-based attacks, and mean-spirited comments unrelated to the person's behavior, according to the same tutorial. Moderation is unpaid: the network runs on what the tutorial calls "a small team of volunteers," a group that LinkedIn material from founder Paola Sanchez describes as managing more than 250 Facebook communities and over 10 million members combined (Paola Sanchez, LinkedIn). The network began as one New York City Facebook group created in March 2022 before growing into the city-specific pages it runs today (Courier-Post/USA Today). Reports from individual Reddit posters describe uneven results from this volunteer model: one describes a post naming a specific health and fidelity claim being deleted despite several women reaching out first to say it helped them (r/OnlineDating), while another describes sharing a restraining order and supporting evidence that led a woman to end a relationship after connecting with the group (r/OnlineDating). Taken together, these experiences help explain why moderation can feel inconsistent from one group to another.

What to Know About Privacy

The anonymity that protects posters from retaliation is the same feature that leaves the posted person with no built-in way to respond inside the app. Men who discover a post about them describe shock and reputational worry, and Reddit threads include accounts of posts based on a single date, an ended conversation, or details the posted person calls inaccurate (r/Bumble; r/OnlineDating). This is the app's central structural tension: a claim can spread through a group with no reply mechanism for the person it names, and moderation quality depends on volunteers applying rules unevenly across hundreds of groups (The Conversation). If a post mentions something specific—a restraining order, marriage, or criminal record—check the original public record before treating it as fact. TheTeaReport can pull several public-record checks into one place, which may be easier than searching court and registry sites one by one.

Lawsuits and Disputes

AWDTSG has faced defamation litigation. Courier-Post/USA Today reported that Stewart Lucas Murrey sued a group of Los Angeles-area women in Los Angeles County Court over posts he says harmed him, seeking $2.6 million in damages, and that he amended his complaint in November 2023 (Courier-Post/USA Today). Separately, Nikko D'Ambrosio filed a federal defamation suit in Illinois naming 27 women, one man, and Meta, alleging posts were made without fact-checking and seeking more than $75,000 in damages, per the same reporting. The Conversation reports that counter-groups such as r/AWDTSGisToxic have formed to organize against the network, and that leaked posts have led to retaliation claims from both sides (The Conversation).

How AWDTSG Differs From Tea

AWDTSG is a separate product from Tea, an app that centralizes anonymous posts, background-style checks, and catfish image search in one national feed rather than city-specific Facebook groups (NewsNation). AWDTSG instead runs on local Facebook groups plus a companion app limited to verified members of those groups.