Are We Dating the Same Guy Groups Explained

Where the network started and how it grew

“Are We Dating the Same Guy” started in New York City in 2022, according to KJK's January 2024 account. The Independent's October 2023 report described its original purpose as checking whether a dating partner was already attached to someone else. By February 2025, The Guardian was reporting on a worldwide network of city-based groups. Those dated accounts describe the network's growth, not today's membership or availability in every city.

Joining a group means passing a screening step first

The Guardian's February 2025 report described women-only groups whose administrators vetted applicants and declined profiles that looked fake. Before applying, check the particular group's visible description and membership instructions. Admission to one group is not evidence that a post inside it is accurate.

A profile screenshot starts the discussion; replies need sorting

A typical post pairs a dating-profile screenshot with a request for information, such as “any tea?”, as The Independent describes. KJK's account distinguishes personal experiences from other people's experiences and shared material such as news stories or records. Those are different kinds of information: ask whether a reply describes something the commenter experienced or repeats something from elsewhere. The Reddit-discussion guide explores how people discuss these groups outside the groups themselves.

Volunteer moderators set posting rules

The Independent's October 2023 report described volunteer moderation, advance approval of posts, and rules against sharing addresses or identifying information beyond a photo and first name. It also reported removal of members for sharing screenshots or passing information to men discussed in the groups. Read the rules of the group you actually join; that article is not a promise of identical rules or enforcement everywhere.

If you are concerned about a post and the particular group publishes a contact or reporting route, follow its stated instructions. Do not assume membership or access to the discussion. KJK cautions that private-group posts can still give rise to defamation, privacy, or harassment claims.

What the companion app adds

The official Google Play listing describes an app for verified members of the Facebook-group network, with manual confirmation by volunteers. It advertises anonymous posting and commenting, viewing and sharing information across multiple cities, and controls that block screenshots, screen recordings and text copying while logging attempted screenshots. These are the developer's feature claims, not a guarantee that information cannot escape or that a story is true. Use the network's official app page to distinguish its companion app from similarly named products.

Three checks before you act on a post

Match the person. A first name and photo can be an incomplete match. Compare details you already know privately: full name, age, city, and relevant background such as work or school. Do not publish extra identifying details to fill a gap. A near-match is not enough to attach an allegation to someone.

Separate accounts from repetition. Several similar replies may warrant attention, but repetition alone is not independent confirmation. Identify which details can be checked and where they supposedly happened.

Read the original record. If a reply mentions a case or registry entry, search the relevant court or official registry. Compare identifying details such as age or date of birth and location; then read the case number, filing date and what the record says happened, including any recorded outcome. A matching name or a summary alone does not settle identity or the allegation. The government links below provide starting points, with their geographic limits labeled.

If you'd rather have records checked directly instead of posting a screenshot and waiting on replies from strangers, TheTeaReport lets you start a private background report using the name and location you already have. It checks a U.S. sex-offender registry and returns court and marriage information where available, along with a note on how closely the result matches the person you searched.

Either path, a group thread or a direct records check, works best alongside the basics: meeting in public for the first few dates, telling a friend where you'll be, and paying attention when his story stops matching what you're seeing for yourself.